My clients come into my office and one of the first things they ask me is, Christine, when are you going to start writing something again? I usually smile, shrug and offer up something about how I do need to do that. It’s simple talk. Because the truth is, my thoughts run deep, and more often than not, they’re feelings that are difficult to put into words. So I never start. Sorry, y’all.
Writing on command is a form of self expression that I have yet to master. Because the truth is, I get caught up in writing what I think is useful, important, meaningful or needs to be heard…rather than writing what I think needs to be said.
It’s self censorship of massive proportion. And many of us, women in particular, do it all the time. We learn it as a way of belonging, fitting in, following the norm…for whatever reason, most of us don’t say what we really think. If I was a shaming kind of person, I’d insert a good old “Shame on us” in here. But instead, I’ll offer up something that feels more useful…
A prayer for soulful self expression….yours, mine, all of ours.
If you are there, and sometimes, I admit, I worry you may be as much as I worry you may not be…
Grant me the freedom that comes with self expression, so that I may speak my mind, share my voice, and enliven my soul in the process of being fully, embodied and alive. May I dance in the daylight that comes from seeing my own shadow and loving her all the same.
Grant me the grace and serenity to not just talk but listen, so that others who share have the gift of feeling as validated in their inner most thoughts as I do in my most enlightened and enlivened moments of truth. May we all find that sharing the truth of who we are feels more survivable than hiding in the darkness of doubt, fear and self-loathing….because it’s my experience that most people loathe themselves far more than anyone else could. When we do this, it hurts everyone. We shrink rather than expand. This is a boring place to be.
Imagine if we all could see the beauty in ourselves as richly as we can notice it in others? The Earth’s tears would be a rainfall of joy and love.
I pray that you help me to recognize the difference between pause for breath and enjoyment and stuckness seeped in sadness. And please give me the tools to create from either space, that which the world wants to know.
May my expansion, expression and joy be the catalyst for others…for whatever is true to their soul’s greatest desire. And may the sunshine from their light illuminate others beyond my sphere so that more people can know the love that comes from letting your inner light shine. For my betterment and the living expansion of us all.
To thine own self be true.