“Focus on Yourself. Please. Don’t let your revolve around someone else, because people are temporary. Do your own things, have your own likes. Don’t do things for them. Do things for you. Don’t stick around waiting for them, don’t give up your all for them.When you concentrate on yourself, your connections with those around you improve.”
When something goes ‘wrong’ why do we so often spend so much time stewing, mulling, pondering, worrying and wondering about it? Would I be right in saying that there are many of you reading who give more head and heart space to ‘stuff-ups,’ misunderstandings or negative junk than you do to honouring and celebrating your sucsesses? It’s pretty easy to slip into isn’t it? Especially I think when it’s a human interaction that has taken place that hasn’t quite gone the way we truly wanted it to.
Have you ever had these thoughts and questions run over and over in your mind?
Focus On Yourself
It’s me. It must be me.
Why hasn’t he/she returned my calls? What did I do?
I wonder what they are doing? On repeat inside your head 37 times an hour.
I could have done better.
Maybe they just don’t like me.
What did I do?
It’s my fault.
If I only I could have…
It’s knot tying stuff. And I think we’ve likely all been there.
The thing that I have learned personally and I know many kind of my coaching and counseling clients have too is that while it’s understandable we all take time to reflect on happenings in our life – it’s too easy to fall into the trap of turning on and beating ourselves up when things don’t quite go right. We can blow things up in our precious minds and thoughts to the point where it is all we think about, robbing us of the power of being in the present, remaining true to ourselves and – moving on.
If you’re stuck in a mindset of worrying, wondering and wishing about anything or anyone that has you churning inside…I hope these tips on how to bring your focus back to the beautiful in your life and most importantly, beautiful you – help.
Let go of any need to have the approval of whomever is invading your thoughts. No matter what you do or do not do we can never truly make someone approve of us or feel or do anything we may want them to. No matter how desperately. True approval, friendship and love is something we can only receive. We can never wrestle it from someone.
Concern yourself only with what is in your control. So read the above little para again and move on.
Don’t make assumptions about why something may or may not have happened, why someone did or did not do something, or for that matter anything at all. All we do when we assume is guess (often with a negative mindset) about the ‘why’ of a situation. Assumptions by nature mean we are not dealing in fact and so easily can make something to be ‘true’ in our minds when it’s not. This so-called truth can then become the seed of a negative mindset, thought-pattern and even belief system that may be completely false. Don’t assume. Deal only in truth. And if you’re not sure what that is? Ask.
If you have been dwelling and stewing about something or someone for a long time and/or it’s starting to make you feel less than your best self – that’s a sign that it’s time to move on. You were not born to live a life that is filled with uncertainty, hesitation and negative introspection. If someone or something is contributing to you feeling that way it’s the universes way of telling you that it’s time to let go, exercise self-care and self-love and step away from the dark and into the light.
Recognise that enough is enough and that if you have been bashing yourself up and questioning yourself to the point of being paralysed – then it ain’t working. (Tip – it never does.) So why not start to swim in the opposite stream? Stop turning on yourself. And focus on yourself. Be gentle, not harsh. Breathe into the power of knowing that what is done is done. Step forward.
The thoughts you choose to think about yourself beautiful you…
They’re the most powerful thing you create, own and are guided by.
Choose wisely and positively.
Focus on yourself beautiful.
Focus on beautiful you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does focusing on myself mean?
Concern yourself only with what is in your control.
Why is focusing on yourself important?
When you concentrate on yourself, your connections with those around you improve.
How do I choose myself first?
Be gentle, not harsh. Breathe into the power of knowing that what is done is done. Step forward.
Why should I be myself?
Don’t let your revolve around someone else, because people are temporary.