Letting Go of Guilt

I’m opening up the Beautiful You confessional.

First time ever.  But I’m feeling it needs to be done.

So often I hear incredible people doing amazing things mutter words like these – with the word ‘guilty’ not very far away or potentially quite prominent and front and centre.  Do you hear or see yourself here?

‘I feel guilty about my children’s….’

‘I know I shouldn’t eat that but….’

‘It feels wrong to put me first because…’

‘I realise it’s not best practice to…’

‘I know everyone says not to do it that way, however…’

‘I’m going to be totally scrutinised if I admit to doing…’

‘I know it’s wrong, but…’

‘I really should…’

 And the thing that strikes me is that so often when someone is feeling these ways, that what they are worried about or – yes – feeling guilty about – is not even close to being worth something feeling worry and guilt about at all.  (What would be exactly I’m not sure).  That in essence, what happens, is that the worry and guilt they rain down on themselves ends up being worse and more debilitating than what they were doing or thinking in the first place.  As they say – ‘Ain’t nobody got time for that.’

Is weighing our hearts and souls down with thoughts of I ate chocolate – didn’t exercise today – slept in – didn’t clean the bathroom this week – forgot to get out of my pyjamas – put my baby in childcare so I could go shopping – forgot to pay a bill on time – didn’t put the bins out – made an excuse not to go to the party – or anything that felt needed or right for us at a given time or even ALL the time, truly worth it?  No.

That in fact it simply makes the negative feelings we have swirling around about something, worse, and I also believes it distances us from others who may be feeling or thinking the same things but not have the courage to come out and say so.

So I’m going to confess to you some things that others may say I should feel guilty about (and have in the past) but am no longer going to. I’m not going to be weighed down, especially by myself, and I certainly don’t want that for my life coaching or business coaching clients or beautiful you either. So these are the things I’m going to stop fretting about or feeling guilty about…

Working in the early hours of the morning, late at night or on weekends

Eating chocolate and not just any chocolate but the kind that has sugar and popping lollies and jubey bits in it

Some weekend days not getting out of my pyjamas

Saying no

Saying yes

Checking my phone for emails when out and about

Drinking enough tea to rival the Queen

Not shaving my legs in winter (Too much?)

Saying ‘google it’

There are more, but I hope you catch my drift. The biggest one for me? The first one.

At times I read so many things about indulgent self-care, the all elusive life ‘balance’, people who claim to work a day a week and earn squillions, and oh how easy it is to make money with an online business, that I feel a little stir crazy. Because in opening up my authentic self to you all reading – that is not me. Not by a long shot. I take care of myself the very best I can and am proud to say I’m soon to start working with a yoga coach (during working hours no less!) to deepen my practice and help get me up out of my blogging and business chair. But I still work long hours. I still juggle a lot of balls. I still dive into my blogging and writing and work on weekends and often in the pre-dawn hours when maybe I should (there’s that word should!) be doing something else like sleeping or getting a facial.

That is the reality for me of running MY business – and yes – I do have lots of expert help. Which I’m grateful for.

But in truth, while yes, there may be some days where I wish for things to be a little less busy and more easeful – I wouldn’t change it for all the chocolate that has the sugar and popping lollies and jubey bits in it for the world. My husband has boldly said that even if it was offered to me I wouldn’t take it because it’s not the way I work. And I think he’s probably right. And that’s not something I’m going to feel guilty or worried about. Because I hazard a guess that if things did ease up I would find something new and wonderful and exciting to sink my teeth in to anyway.

So – the confessional is officially open beautiful you. What are you feeling worried or guilty about that you need to let go of? Leave a comment below and let it all hang loose. No judgement here of any kind. And if you’re a little tentative – go the anonymous option. It will still feel good.

Here’s to living wild and free with no guilt or shame – pyjamas, shaved legs and chocolate optional.

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