I started wearing a size 14 as soon as I hit 6th grade in middle school. That was around the same time that hit puberty and I guess Mother Nature thought that making my hips expand and putting weight on my thighs was the way to do it. Not saying I was thin in elementary school either, cause I was always a bigger than the other girls. I got made fun of a lot in the school years of my life. Growing up somewhat poor and also back then (we are talking late 90’s to early 2000) the fashion choices were extremely limited for girls. I used to sit when I went shopping with my best friend, who was around a size 2 at that time, and watch as she could wear anything she wanted. It was hard growing up and I know many people had similar experiences as me. The biggest thing was I never told anyone what size I was. I was ashamed! I would be embarrassed when my best friend would go with me to try on clothes, because sometimes things would not fit properly or I would pray I could squeeze into a 12 and even attempt it at times. Most of those insecurities about my size were the main reason I was so negative about my body. I would think about that number, 14, and wish I was in single digits. The number 14 would haunt me up until I was in my late teens, early 20’s. That is when I realized; hey I look pretty sexy with my curves in this dress. Or dang, my hips look good in these jeans. It was like when I hit 18 my eyes were opened to a whole other world where there were different sized people and it was accepted more. It is still an uphill battle with self-esteem as correcting the years of damage I did to myself is not easily erased. I am turning 25 and I am a size 20. It feels so liberating to say that. I am a size 20 and I am not ashamed to say so. I am a size 20 and I am sexy. Sexy is not all about looks. Sexy is about attitude and confidence. I am glad I am figuring out that you can be sexy at all sizes. You can be beautiful, sexy, pretty, cute, lovable, any word you can think of at any size! Now is the time to take control of how you feel about your size and make it your own.
