*trigger warning for fat hatred*
Without going into minute detail, I will admit that I have been struggling lately. A toxic mix of depression, anxiety, medication induced weight gain, medically suggested dieting and few of my clothes fitting me anymore has resulted in this Angry Fatty being more of a Sad Fatty. A very Sad Fatty.
And today just topped it off.I am sure I could write something encouraging and inspiring from today’s experience but to be honest, right now I just don’t have it in me. So what happened?
I was walking to my daughter’s daycare centre to collect her and I was yelled at by someone in a passing car. And their pearl of wisdom that they just had to share with me?
” Keep walking, you fat b*tch”
This has never happened to me before, being hollered at from a passing car, so it was a bit of a shock. Then I was embarrassed. Then I was ashamed. I am hoping I will move into anger soon enough because rationally I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed. After all, I was walking, isn’t that what they always tell us fatties to do? To get off our fat asses and get moving? Well I was but of course that wasn’t good enough for the ass-wipe that screamed out at me. Like Kath at Fat Heffalump said yesterday, no matter what we do, they will still hate us.
Usually I can deal with the hate. Usually I can be Angry Fatty and give as good as I get. But not right now and today, well today they just got me right where it hurts. Just like they wanted to do. Part of me is angry at myself for letting the bastards get me down and part of me is angry that this is the way of our world, that screaming obscenities at fat people is seen as an OK thing to do. Because it isn’t an OK thing to do, it really isn’t. And anyone who thinks it is OK, well they need to be on the receiving end for a while and see how they like it. Me, I don’t like it much at all.